Dating .. over 50...

... just plain sucks!!  lol.  It's Valentine's Day, so what better time to talk about dating, and relationships, and being over 50.  I was divorced before I was 40... and dating wasn't to bad at that point... I was working.. I was going out with friends to a bar we hung out at... and I was meeting some great guys.  Then, about when I had really given up on finding a relationship... I fell into one.. and for 7 years.. it was great!  I really thought this is where I will be for the rest of my life.. and then almost as suddenly as I fell into it, I fell out.  He didn't want the responsibility of a relationship anymore.. done.  So I re-grouped, decided that I would "fall" into a relationship again.. only this time, now that I'm over 50.. it seems harder.  I'm not working, so it's hard to meet people.  I live with my daughter, and her family.... on a military base.  I don't do the bar scene anymore.. I'm just too old for it. And it seems that the men my age, that aren't in a relationship, are either to badly burned from past relationships and women who lied, cheated, or used them... or they too don't want the responsibility of a relationship... they only want to meet up... jump into bed... and call the next time they have an itch.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I've enjoyed those types of relationships in the past.. they really do fulfill a need... but after awhile, I'm finding it's just not working for me anymore. 

I have a friend, we've never met, we only communicate through their blog, and emails.  And they have been very helpful in me finding out just who I am... actually who I was along, and why, I am no longer willing to lower my standards, or lower the bar in how I want to be treated.  There is a line, from a recording they did, that goes like this....

Mothers, songs preach that without forever you are just being used.  But there is something much worse. It's much worse to find something important that goes to waste because you're not being used at all. 

I feel like I'm not being used at all, but then again.. I don't want to be used... I want to be loved for me... I want to be wanted.. not needed.   I'm not a "type" of woman.  I am unique... I've been told that.  And I also know that a lot of women say they aren't like others.  And while I can't speak for them, for me, it's true.  I don't like shopping... I don't like shoes.  I like auto racing, dirt tracks, crime shows, Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters.  I don't like "reality" shows, don't like Grey's Anatomy, or any show that if you miss the first episode of the first year, you are pretty much... Lost.  When I love, I give all... unconditionally.  I don't expect anything in return, other than to be loved, for me.. to be accepted for me.  Don't try to change me or "fix" me.  I'm not broken... I like who I am, where I am, and how my life is going.  And there is still room in it for someone.....